2 Stars
I hate writing bad reviews. It hurts my heart but in the hopes that the author will heed some constructive criticism and perhaps take an ok book to a good or even great one - here goes.
1. The language. This is a rookie mistake. Here's one paragraph from the book: "Any blood spilled was a beacon for hackas five hundred strokes, or more, away. A pack of smaller hackas, Desentines, swift and nimble, moved into view from the nic. Her tamur would be among the ligphurs and as the Desentine pack, numbering around forty closed in on them , she tensed."
Hackas? Desentines? Nic? Tamur? Ligphurs? That is just one paragraph! I only just found out (from reading other reviews) that there is a glossary in the back. In the kindle version that should be in front - or better yet use real words. Blood is blood in the book, fins and tails are fins and tails, I assume the author was trying to immerse us in the peculiar oceanic world he created by using peculiar and foreign language. Far from achieving that he instead created a slur of jibberish that throws the reader from the story to either reel in confusion, look in the glossary, or skim past the offending words substituting "blah-blah." I have to be honest, I cannot finish the book as written in the version I purchased. It reads like Mad Libs filled in by a foreign speaker.
The language thing is a big deal. My advice - choose 5 or less mermaid words that you feel are most important and make sure they are well explained the moment they are first presented. Nix the rest. I just can't keep reading. I've been thrown from the story so much I honestly don't care what happens... but I want to!
2. Excessive and incorrect comma use. Examples: "Take, Morg, to, Vert Ravine." - "Go with, Ethos, he'll keep you safe." - "But the porene are more loyal to my haspur than, Leader Lyon." A book has to be clean before put on the market. A few mistakes are permissible but this level of sloppiness is not ok.
This book needs an editor so very badly. At the very least it needs to be read and critiqued by several beta readers. I think that once the 2 main issues are addressed it will be a good book. A girl/mermaid refuses to be hurt by her clan, runs away which leads to a clan battle, and is told to go see the White Queen who can see the future. Except that it reads more like: A mur refuses to be hurt by her Inyarl Shawl, runs away... See what I mean?
Note to the author: I'm sorry if you read this and think I'm insulting you or calling you a bad writer. I'm not. I only give these critiques because this book is not market ready and with a bit more work it definitely could be. I WANT to find out what happens to Morg when the necessary corrections are made and a new version/edition is available. Like I said, I see the intent behind the language but it just doesn't matter to the reader. I think you have massive potential. From what I could understand of the world you created it is interesting and the plot seems solid. Please, consider these constructive criticisms and take your work to the next level. I will be more than happy to read your new finished edition when it becomes available. At that time I will absolutely alter this review to reflect the newer edition. I appreciate your effort and it is with respect for you as a fellow indie author that I offer these critiques.
5 stars, but....
How can you do that to your readers? Just end the book with several unanswered questions? What's on the Researcher's P.I.U? What is the black tentacle stuff? Those two questions above all others are making my eye twitch because I can't find out!
You've got to write a sequel and give us/me the answers!
Besides that slightly disappointing state of affairs, the book is wonderful. It's not as jam-packed with action as book 2 was but that's ok. I found myself sad that it was about to be over.
If you like aliens, sci-fi, and good writing you will like this book. By the way, dear author, I absolutely LOVED what "The One" was. I laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed that. There was a lot of humor in this book, a few satisfying scenes where the Bad Guys get theirs, but I am so sad that it left me with a void.
On a related note, I am awed and astonished by how much work the author did for this book series. Creating an alien bureaucracy complete with several tedious documents with subsections, a different way of telling time, and including samples of all that in the appendices... well, I respect the heck out of that.
This is a well put-together series, a fresh take on storytelling, an exciting plot with characters that develop organically as the story rolls on, humor, philosophical musings, bureaucracy gone mad, and all told in a way that kind-of makes you believe THEY are going to come bust down your door because you read The Book That THEY Don't Want You To Read.
Buy these books. You won't be disappointed.
Can I give it 6 stars?
This book was non-stop awesome. You definitely must read Part 1 first or you'll be lost.
This go round, Jethro uses a voice recorder and a notebook and the more detailed account lends itself to more thorough storytelling even in the diary format, so I found myself more immersed in the action - which I loved.
There were some genuinely funny parts that made me truly laugh. Some parts made me cringe and nearly cry. Diary entry 42 is rough. I was holding my newborn when I read it... just read the book and you'll know why that was rough. Also, apparently a "fanny" in the UK is not the same as in the US. I was confused for a few seconds until I realized that. Lol.
I think it ends at a good point since the action has died down a smidge but there are still enough unanswered questions to make you rush out and buy book 3, which I will be doing tomorrow.
This plot is amazingly original. I dig alien movies, TV, books, and all but have never seen a plot quite like this one. It's delightfully refreshing. It's not too technical and gives just enough of the science to let the reader connect with the ideas presented. We get a closer look at Tukaal in this part and he's a fascinating specimen.
I read this book in a day. It was that good. Go get your copy now! It really is a great read.
***EDITED after speaking with the author who was kind enough to address my critiques and explain them. I have never edited a review before and the author DID NOT request/suggest that I do. I felt that in light of his explanations I should so I did.**
I give it 5 stars.
Jethro Postlethwaite finds himself face to face with an alien while taking photos in the countryside. What should have been a simple ride across town with said alien turns out to be much more, ruining Jethro's cozy existence and plunging him into a life on the run. It's a series so there is no tidy ending but it does leave you wanting more. I've already purchased Part 2.
The reason for the lower rating is the amount of typos in the book. One good re-read by the author or a beta reader would clear that up, and I expect a clean book when I purchase from an indie author. **EDIT: The typos were added to lend credibility to the fact that it is a diary and would likely have typos. That makes sense.**
The story is super original. The diary format is imaginative and fresh, though I felt that the collator's notes were jarring and pulled me out of the story at times. That may have been intentional, not sure. Sometimes it drifted into reading like a technical book instead of a story or an account. The book is still very good in spite of that. If you like stories about aliens that aren't too cliche, then this book is for you!
What I really liked and was surprised by was the occasional internal struggle that JP experiences at different points along his journey. We get a glimpse of his backstory, fed a little at a time so as to not overwhelm the reader. I liked those moments the most.
I would have read the books simply because I'm a hard-core anglophile, but I'm happy I did for more than just that it's set in England. Run to the store and buy some McVities HobNobs, some good tea, and curl up with this book. If you're an American you'll notice many words are spelled differently. I liked that.
An issue I noticed is that several times the reader is told to reference Appendix A, but my ebook didn't have an Appendix A. I looked twice. I would have liked to see that.**EDIT: Appendix A was only included in Part 3, but the author will now include it in Part 1. Excellent!**
Ok, now I have to read part 2 to see what is in Jethro's neck!
I couldn't finish the book, it made me too sad. I got 57% of the way through, so I don't know how it ends. It's not a plot-driven novel anyway. I'm not rating it by how much I liked it. I'm rating by the skill of the author in the crafting of the story and the beauty of the author's voice in telling this story.
A poor girl in the roaring 20's, with aspirations of fame and a singing voice that might get her there, finds herself all alone - a sheep in the midst of wolves - when her father dies. She sets her sights on fame and is willing to do whatever it takes to get there, and I do mean whatever it takes. Up to the point I stopped it was just one misuse and abuse after another. My heart just can't take it anymore. I want to swoop in and give her a loving family.
That being said, the 5 star rating I gave it is for the sheer beauty of the language. It's written in a Mississippi drawl that flows like the black water of the river through the pages. It's authentic and raw. Even in the most jarring of scenes the language's eloquent beauty softens the blow just a little.
I think you're meant to dislike all the characters. No one has any redeeming qualities, at least not to the point I stopped reading. The girl, Emily Ann, is as naive as they come, promiscuous, self-centered... just a teen left to fend for herself. Everyone else wants to use her. Even those professing to love her. It's heartbreaking. Truth be told I hated the story because it darkened the days I spent reading it. It is beautifully told, though. If the author tries his hand at something less traumatic to the soul I would absolutely buy and read it.
If you don't mind having your heart broken, you will like this book. I wish it were a brighter story because I love the way the author writes. Again, I don't know how it ends. It may brighten up toward the end. I just can't drag my heart through anymore of Emily Ann's life. If you like drama and a sad story-line, buy this book. It gives me the same overall feeling as The Green Mile and is just as well told. The book really is beautifully written. It deserves a chance for that alone. I'm just exceptionally tenderhearted, especially when it comes to children.
Get your copy here.
Hi Everyone!
If you've been waiting for book 3, you can now pre-order the ebook on Amazon by clicking the cover below.
Full release September 27th, 2014. Tell your friends! Online launch party TBA.
Thanks so much for reading this trilogy. You've made my dreams a reality. :)
5 Stars!
Tim Hemlin wrote this in prose so eloquent and beautiful it reminded me of F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby. This plot-driven novel was really good. I was confused for most of it, but I wanted to keep going and find out what was going to happen. The story was worth working through to the end.
I have just a few critiques:
1. "All intensive purposes" is just so wrong. It's "all intents and purposes." That's a big deal to me, but it's really my only grammatical critique. There were a few mistakes spell check couldn't catch, but overall it's a clean novel, well written.
2. The progression through time is not easy to understand. Perhaps that was intentional, time confusion playing a starring role in the exciting plot, but I have no idea what kind of time frame this story happened in. A week? Ten days? A year? Dunno.
3. More confusion - why do they use British vernacular and drink hot tea when this is set in Texas and the weather is blistering outside the bubbles? I use British vernacular and drink hot tea while living in Houston - but I'm a bloody weirdo. Does this mean there are more of us in the future? A bit of explanation would have made that quirky phenomenon seem less contrived.
4. Even more confusion - I don't want to give away the plot, but the possibility of the past interacting with the future, of resurrection, of time witch stuff, it's never really explained. I know it's sci-fi/dystopian but there should be a logical explanation behind things. Like warp drive on the USS Enterprise - there's a basis for the technology that's explained well enough to be plausible. This book doesn't try to explain anything.
The Wastelanders is, in a word, enigmatic. At times it's climate change propaganda, at times it's religious in tone, at times it indicts the abuse of political power in America striking eerily close to home. At all times it's beautifully written, engaging, mysterious, and elusive.
You may wonder why, with my critiques, I gave it 5 stars. That's simple! It was a great story, well told and authentic. Beautiful prose, man. Well done.
Get your copy here.
